I'll be managing and coaching a team for the mid division this season. I will be holding try outs/interviews for players with some experience to COMP mod. I want to teach, and I want players with a passion for this game who want to learn and compete.

Members of this team may get priority for mercing when Chams needs em! Talk about accelerated learning! Yowza

Requirements:
1. You MUST be able to play EVERY Sunday at 10am Pacific time. All of your matches will be on the weekend, and will MOST LIKELY include European teams. This is the universal match day.
2. You MUST be available to play on at least three weeknights (just availability - no, we won't scrim three nights a week)
3. More than 200 hours of NS2
4. A shared disdain for http://www.ensl.org/users/1942. Be prepared to provide a short essay on why you dislike him. *edited by admin*
5. You must be within +/-3 hours from New York time zone.
6. You must be reasonably comfortable playing Lerk or Fade. I will NOT accept players who can only play Onos/skulk.
7. You must thoroughly enjoy handjobs, and be comfortable partaking in conversations about handjobs.

Positions Needed:
-Alien Commander
-Marine Commander

Contact: Contact me here on this site, or on Steam. http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198030761769/

Simba says

4. A shared disdain for http://www.ensl.org/users/1942. Be prepared to provide a short essay on why you dislike him. He's German and his fucking NSL user id is 1942. The same fucking year Hitler began Auschwitz!

||_____ {[(]}) ||____________________________



aE:WLFIKAFKLdsf

If you want to learn NS2 from the best, look no further than Simba. Definitely recommend trying out if you really want to get better!

Simba says

7. You must thoroughly enjoy handjobs, and be comfortable partaking in conversations about handjobs.

Damn.

B| ]

Can I join? I can only play Onos.

I can talk comfortably about handjobs all day, but I've got some hang-ups about the pros and cons of even bothering accepting one. Do I qualify?

Simba says

7. You must thoroughly enjoy handjobs, and be comfortable partaking in conversations about handjobs.

Frozen says

I can talk comfortably about handjobs all day, but I've got some hang-ups about the pros and cons of even bothering accepting one. Do I qualify?

Simba says

You must thoroughly enjoy handjobs

Frozen says

even bothering accepting one.

Simba says

handjobs

Frozen says

one.

next simba is gonna say, hes quitting ns2 and going to start playing only clash of clans

Simba says

4. A shared disdain for http://www.ensl.org/users/1942. Be prepared to provide a short essay on why you dislike him.

Looks like you are looking 4 me. Qualification: played in megas team 4 one year

sadly I cannot fullfill some of the other points.

Absurdon says

Simba says

4. A shared disdain for http://www.ensl.org/users/1942. Be prepared to provide a short essay on why you dislike him. He's German and his fucking NSL user id is 1942. The same fucking year Hitler began Auschwitz!

Looks like you are looking 4 me. Qualification: played in megas team 4 one year

sadly I cannot fullfill some of the other points.

I am sorry to hear your plight, friend, but NA only, fag.

i was recommend your team to a very potent female player but she said she wouldnt be allowed since she has no dick and posted me this rule

7. You must thoroughly enjoy handjobs, and be comfortable partaking in conversations about handjobs

wont u accept females and if yes clarify the details please.

Women can enjoy handjobs, izo. They can enjoy giving them, receiving them, handjobs are not a gender restricted activity.

Thanks for the fast answer i told her about it and hope she will join ur Team soon.

I like your initiative, as I did yours for the NCT.

I just hope that all the - although fun - joking around don't bring people to the idea, that this is just a joke.

Also I hope more more people follow your example, that would be great.

This is reals, Tudy. I'll be updating some point with my current roster and more details on what we'll need.

I agree that it would be nice to see some more people doing the same. All it means is providing advice to others and scheduling scrims.

I would love to join if you would have me.

Would love to join team, but I'm unable to give you 3 days practice at night, I work a week of dayshifts followed by a week of nightshifts and that alternates back and forth every week. I am available all weekends, and how loosely is the, reasonably able to play lerk and fade, I'm just ok with those 2 lifeforms but can improve with more practice, probably a better lerk than fade. Handjobs are not a problem and I will have no problem disliking Mega_noComm if that's what it takes to get me on the team, he indicates on his profile that he is 66 yrs old and therefore I have to take him out because I want to be the oldest active player on NS2 at 59 yrs. old, lol. Thank you for your consideration and I hope I qualify for your illustrious team! P.S. I'm in the central time zone in northwest Florida but get good to excellent ping with eastern and western time zone servers and europeon servers as well. One more thing, I can recommend RisingSun as a potential team player, we are coworkers on the same crew at work so what applies to me for scheduling practice etc. applies to him as well.

Btw, Simba is on vacation in Hawaii right now but I'm sure he will get back to you when he returns

Hawaian handjob

Thanks loMe for the update on Simba's whereabouts, patiently awaiting his return and response to my team application, lol!

I was probably going to help out this team as well.

I have a lot of prospects for field players at the moment. What I really need is some commander!

I would be willing to learn commander and in depth strats. You know i dont mind telling people what to do :P

i ALSO like telling people what to do :D

Tico STFU

Be polite please ...

simba just showin how he's number 1 comm bearjinkies: commanding tico to SHUT THE UFKC UP

im takin notes simba can you document all your OTPHJ lectures

I really hope this team gets players before signups end.

Its okay simba has since apologized.