Week 2 Predictions

It seems last week someone was impersonating me and actually gave jiriki some falsified predictions. Obviously the imposter didn’t manage to make any correct score predictions, but this will all be remedied this week with my 100% genuine, 100% accurate, 110% hilarious predictions.

Please be vigilant for the fraudulent ENSL predictor, his aliases include Badmirable and Admirablolol. Flayra has issued a warrant for this arrest and he is said to be highly dangerous and extremely imaginary.

Admirable's 1st Division Predictions

Flatline-Ns vs. CRAB BATTLE!!!

The German War Machine has not managed to make it out of the stalls yet with their first game being postponed to a later date. Their crustacean opposition came away with a disappointing draw last week and will be looking to test themselves against the Division 1 favourites.

Little has changed in my estimations of Flatline since last week, they are still the team to be beaten in my eyes. Since then I have spotted Flatline trialing new players and I was a little surprised as I thought their lineup was fairly complete, but I was also glad to see new active players being brought in and trained in the dark arts of tanking. Expect their usual brand of Deutsch domination; intelligent plays, excellent teamwork and superb individual skills. I must take this opportunity to pose the question, will Cosmic’s identity crisis ever end? That must be like a new nick every three days: You crazy!

Those sexy sexpots over at CRAB BATTLE!!! are up against it this week alright. I definitely over-estimated their ability to win Marine Rounds last week, which lacked a certain decisiveness against the Swedes. This will improve over time but I don’t see them taking any rounds on blue team in this fixture unless through a rush or catastrophic failure from their opposition. The Alien Rounds looked durable but I imagine Flatline may be able to crack them, particularly in a longer drawn out game which may come to fruition due to sluggish teamwork\responses from the crabs.

Impact players:
~flatline-ns` : Morvie (Shotgun/Fade), skipjack (Lerk), Vlad Dracul (New Blood)
CRAB BATTLE!!! : Saba (Tank), Nirgal (Le Fade/Le Marine), Admirable (Psychological Warfare)

Flatline-Ns 3 - 1 CRAB BATTLE!!!

Adz’ Final Thought: Everyone loves an underdog ;)

Destination Unknown vs. saunamen

My drama’o’meter exploded when I saw that the DU.eu players who had joined saunamen had jumped ship again to reform last season’s top team. However, it all seems to be very amicable… damn you friendly Finns!

Destination Unknown returns with a few alterations to the roster, notably Hopsu and NsN remain in the sauna, Kuitmo stays with Quaxy, and Naxu is now part of this sexy brass band. Roughly speaking this is the nine most active players from last week’s saunamen roster, which can only be a good thing. I’ll be expecting big performances from Apo and Scale, but I’d like to see the underrated Aleksi step up to the plate and showcase his fabulous fading and magnificent marine game! The time and effort required to reform the team at this late stage should be enough motivation to see them win this one.

From what I’ve heard and seen saunamen will be taking a laid-back approach to this season. With Peacham only available to play at the weekend (due to being a Military Muscle Man the rest of the time) the saunamen lack their engine. They will be looking to coast through here on individual skill, past experience and, controversially, having fun. Hasn’t anyone told them NS is serious business? They still have one of the best rosters in Division 1 especially with the return of the ENSL’s Number 1 Nice Guy, tomekki AKA weezer; but I doubt they will even muster a draw without any activity and practise wars.

Impact players:
DU.eu - : Apo (Shotgun/Fade), Scale (Lerk/Marine), Aleski (Alseksy)
saunamen - : NsN (Fade), weezer (Marine), Peacham (The Boss)

Destination Unknown 3 - 1 saunamen

Adz’ Final Thought: Beware of the FINSPAN!

Quaxy Gayming vs. Snowrollers

This is the second Scandinavian skirmish on the cards this week and I think both teams are pretty well matched. Hopefully this will produce an enjoyable game for players and spectators alike.

The Snowrollers have been putting in some practise this week. Spurred on by predictions of defeat last week and subsequently snatching a draw, they seem to be more comfortable in Division 1 now. As Alien they are a formidable force, although they had poor initial co-ordination regarding node cover, some splendid play from Taurus and Action_IHOP7 as Fade and Lerk respectively managed to win out. I don’t see them losing any Alien Rounds in this fixture either. The new addition of Denmark’s Top Banana will help the Swedes no end in organising their Marine Rounds, with robust players like Xythe and rabbit executing commands and hostiles in the field.

Quaxy Gayming have lost out a little with the reforming of DU.eu, most notably the loss of Naati’s Lerk. I have seen Kuitmo lerking in PCW with mixed results so I am keen to see how things will hold together with this linchpin of their Alien Rounds removed. As one door closes, another one opens and in steps the excellent Talis to reinforce the Marine Rounds. Although he may be a little out of shape, he is still a force to be reckoned with down the barrel of a Shotgun. However this may be in vain with zh gone, it will probably fall to Nova to command and I feel he has demonstrated inexperience both in the Sprogga game and in recent PCWs.

Impact players:
sR | : Taurus (Fade), Action_IHOP7 (Lerk), integrator AKA Big Banana (Stop Whining!)
Quaxy - : Kuitmo (Marine), Talis (Shotgun/Fade), rapsu (Pedo Bear Approved)

Quaxy Gayming 1 - 3 Snowrollers

Adz’ Final Thought: Ancient Chinese Proverb say “SWETARDS WIN!”

Team Russia vs. The Sproggalots

I have to write four predictions a week now thanks to those DU bastards, and I can feel my literary prowess waning as I reach the final hurdle. Urgh! Sprogga good! Russia bad!

Team Russia are very inconsistent. Some games I watch them and they look like rekindling the spark they had a few seasons ago, then other times they are just all over the place. Their success often depends on how Macpersil performs and this can be a bit of a burden to bear. Snake, sone and ares provide a solid framework for smokealot to work with from the Command Chair, but silly mistakes often cost them their Marine Rounds. I would really like to see my tovarish's do well, but I can’t see it happening in this fixture.

The Sproggalots sunk my predictorship last week by steamrolling Quaxy, so this week I will give them the benefit of the doubt that they won’t drop a round. Be on the lookout for GibbZ who seems to have hit some form (read: luck) as of last week. Willa didn’t really produce the goods for me last week, so I will lavish my praise on Player, my former clanmate and all round nice guy. Feel free to bask in his cool-as-a-cucumber fading and manly man man marining! Also I suspect GreeN has this on LOCKDOWN...

Impact players:
.ru : Macpersil (Lerk/Marine), Snake (Fade), sone (Tank)
sprogga ~ : GibbZ (Fade/Marine), Player (Fade), Sheep (Fap Fap)

Team Russia 0 - 4 The Sproggalots

Adz’ Final Thought: In Soviet Russia beats Sprogga you…

That’s my lot for another week! Whispers in the ENSL Staff Room tell me that if I don’t get every score right this week MAAAD will be taking over my job. So for the love of God just rig the games… :D

GibbZ' 2nd Division Predictions

Unit51 vs. Totalidy

After the resignation of r3t4rd the irish trio gave up and have killed the clan know as Unit. So please help me and my many companions, by spamming Prefix, Maverick` or Exodus on IRC - commonly in #ensl - and force them to revive the clan which they have given up on.

Impact players:

Unit 0 - 4 Td (forfeit)

NS Force vs. Flamers

For many years a community has dominated the public NS scene, with always a full server and hosting some of Europes most finest Playtesters. This community known and feared by the competetive scene, known as YO-CLAN. Well this is what NS Force stands for. NS-Force was started by Tweadle's (hey babes xx) public->competetive idea. The clan was formed by Sifright the overweight yet still sexy portugese guy who immigrated to england just to get a better connection to play competetive NS with. He started the clan first off by picking up YO regs and admins. Being a regular mentor for this clan, ofcourse I am going to show bias but I really have seen all the players come along a great deal. Sifright should be watched and not underrated just because he has a low profile, because he has alot of marine talent although he tends to sometimes risk the alien rounds by going into "Siffy mode" where he frags as much as he can as fade and then dies to a lone marine on the way back to the hive. Also to be mentioned should be in my eyes, Aero^ for his talent with the shotgun (yes he's solod lumps lerk twice. Two times.) and Yeti, the ever improving lerk. The team also picked up recently, jiriki, Maxx and WankingTarget, all past competetive players which reside alot of experience they can share with the team.

The germanians however have lost their player with the experience as gobot recently resigned from the team. Yet this week I have seen them regularly searching for pcws and this to me is a positive sign for things to come. Their roster looks week however with such a small roster, and with them being still active I can see them improving fast. Yet being a week behind with practice and without gobot to carry it's alot of effort for the team. I wish them goodluck and hope they can find some more members!

Impact players:
NS-F - : Sifright (Marine/Fade), Aero^ (Shotgun), Zydeco (Random Carry)
Flamers - : acidicX (he has an X on the end of his name?)

NS-F 4 - 0 Flamers

GibbZ’ Final Thought: NS-F bound to win. I've been mentoring them! \o\ /joke

@llusion vs. Kiez Clan Hamburger

Time2Kill? Not anymore ladies. Now we have @llusion. The mix of nationalities in this one sure has messed things up. The lack of spelling of Illusion not only frustrates me but if they can't spell. How will the pwn?! /rant. With a lack of MAAAD this week the clan has had a rename from Time2Kill to @llusion. Yet although the name may seem more appealing, without that loveable spantard I can only see loss loss loss. Without MAAAD's prem++ skill it feels like game over already. The clan still can do alright though with some individual talent coming from new recruits Touko and pcd the french duo recently departed from pitchfork. Both boast good skulking and marine skill however will this be enough to counter the infamous -skills of p3anub? We'll have to wait and see!

Kiez are germanian. They have tanking skills. They aren't afraid to use them. Kiez showed last week they are really hear to dominate. Taking four rounds from a team which in my eyes is prem. They have lump ffs. Kiez this week I think will have a bit more trouble however as @llusion seem to be more organised and have better teamwork then the previous Totalidy. Handschuh is kiez' star player really, practicing with flatline alot recently he has acquired the dark arts as Ad earlier spoke of, of tanking. With this new skill he has really come out of his shell as a fade and marine taking down whole teams on his own.

Impact players:
@llusion - : Touko (Marine), pcd (Marine/skulk), pathy (rt biting)
Kiez - : Handschuh (Marine/Fade), premium (Skulk)
@llusion 1 - 3 Kiez

GibbZ’ Final Thought: why did pitchfork die again?

GibbZ out.

Admirable on 25 October 07 03:17



Blank Nova

"It will probably fall to Nova to command and I feel he has demonstrated inexperience both in the Sprogga game and in recent PCWs."

Thanks for support, mate.

25 October 2007, 03:25


Blank Sharpi

you fail Nova, but we still <3 you

25 October 2007, 03:28


Blank Prefix | Anonym Anti Anti A.

rofl ad - pro predictions once again tbh.

now gogo GibbZ

25 October 2007, 03:31


Blank Tweadle

good job

25 October 2007, 04:08


Blank GreeN | cisequaltothree

nice preds, if I dont have it on lockdown.. your money back

25 October 2007, 04:14


Blank JetJagusaurus

my hat looks stupid

25 October 2007, 04:19


Blank Cosmic | Saperion "Fan"-Club


25 October 2007, 06:49


Blank Arj | Ant

lol.. pro preds :)

25 October 2007, 13:46


Blank mu

over the top thesaurus usage at the start

25 October 2007, 16:05


Blank smokealot

preds fail

25 October 2007, 17:40


Blank NsN

Tane joins SAUNAMEN!

25 October 2007, 18:03


Blank Admirable | coolclan

I still love you Nova!

Next weeks predictions will come with a dumbed down version for Michael, containing less flowery language and few syllables.

And Tane is not eligible to play in Week2, so ner! :D

25 October 2007, 18:23


Blank GibbZ | 9L


25 October 2007, 19:50


Blank sherpa | cisequaltothree

another legendary prediction.

especially liked "the dark arts of tanking" phrase

im picturing the germans wearing cowled robes and swirling their hands over their eerily-green-light-emitting monitors whilst mumbling magical words and messing with config.cfg

26 October 2007, 00:15


Blank scratchie

sherpa dont smoke and comment ;) what an imagination!!

love'd the preds!

26 October 2007, 00:19


Blank sherpa | cisequaltothree


26 October 2007, 01:23


Blank P3anut

Gibbz do your predictions and make me a impact player

26 October 2007, 04:03


Blank jiriki | old people

Awesome preds Admirable. Thanks.

26 October 2007, 09:31


Blank Action_IHOP7

Great reading, well done.

26 October 2007, 10:38


Blank wodKa | Flatline-Ns

niiiiiice sherpa :D

26 October 2007, 12:07


Blank Vision | Quaxy

I should be counted as an impact player for the opposing team in Quaxy maches !

26 October 2007, 12:54


Blank Testosterown

sherpa you are so wrong! Germans are raised like the Spartans in 300 and Tanking is the most important subject in our schools.

26 October 2007, 13:08


Blank Tweadle

wp george, nice preds!

26 October 2007, 20:53


Blank Admirable | coolclan

Good Game George Gibbons

26 October 2007, 21:15


Blank Maxx

call me Yoda.

26 October 2007, 21:42


Blank pathy

"The lack of spelling of Illusion not only frustrates me but if they can't spell"

The lack of gramatic skills not only frustrates me but if they cant spell.

ps. allusion is a word any way. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allusion


26 October 2007, 22:23


Blank gobot | Stray Dogs

rofl what predictions gibbz... Maaads uberproskillz ? ROFL?

26 October 2007, 23:24


Blank GibbZ | 9L

whatever i wont do predictions again
and seriously
its all just banter

27 October 2007, 00:03


Blank Prefix | Anonym Anti Anti A.

don't spam me kthx.

27 October 2007, 00:33


Blank P3anut


27 October 2007, 01:05


Blank GreeN | cisequaltothree

because you don't make an impact.. WTF I DIDNT GET IMPACT EITHER

27 October 2007, 01:39


Blank gobot | Stray Dogs

nah dont stop doing predicts. Atleast you can laugh reading them ;-)

27 October 2007, 02:08


Blank lump

i'm insulted

27 October 2007, 02:21


Blank Tweadle

"The lack of gramatic skills not only frustrates me but if they cant spell"

The lack of grammatical skills not only frustrates me but if they can't spell...

If you're going to correct someone, do it right pathy

27 October 2007, 02:27


Blank Tweadle


"Allusion: An indirect reference to some piece of knowledge not actually mentioned."

That's a pretty retarded name for a clan. At least ours is just made up!

27 October 2007, 02:31


Blank P3anut

shut up

27 October 2007, 03:27


Blank CraZyIvan


27 October 2007, 06:29


Blank Admirable | coolclan

Hey man stop trying to steal my retarded thunder!

CRAB BATTLE!!! is the most retarded clan name ever and don't you forget it...

27 October 2007, 06:44


Blank tjab0 | el'pheer

noes my impact has gone away :<

27 October 2007, 15:54


Blank atman

wasnt allusion was an allusion for illusion

27 October 2007, 19:27


Blank lump

how about virgin cock suckers?

28 October 2007, 14:19


Blank P3anut

taurus im gonna hunt u down

28 October 2007, 14:20


Blank P3anut

How about ur a fifth wheel?

28 October 2007, 14:36


Blank atman

you can't, im in norway!

28 October 2007, 21:06


Blank lump

6wd kicks ass

28 October 2007, 21:39


Blank lump


28 October 2007, 21:41


Blank weezer

"...the return of the ENSL’s Number 1 Nice Guy, tomekki AKA weezer"

you've got to be fucking kidding me

2 November 2007, 01:15

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